Quote:
Originally Posted by --Su--
Thank you so much ncguynva! 
Thanks for caring 
It is so useful! It is calming me everytime I read it  .
The best thing is that I could realized that I am not that alone if I am not with him.... I do have few but strong roots! They are helping me not to drown in my sadness.
But some others just don't care.... it is hard when someone near you does that. I feel betrayed because I could made it very clear what my problem was and they could not even show some empathy.......just keep getting their indifference 
It hurts so bad. Everything hurts....hearing his name, meeting people that knows him, and ohhhh the memories......most of them are really bad....the lies, lack of respect and betrayals...remembering that for him, every bad action and attitude he had towards me was my fault (and exclusive my fault).  I never cheated on him. It never cross my mind being with other guy even after he mistreated me so grievously.... I am (and my good root-friends are also) 100% that I did not deserve the kind of treatment he was giving me...
but one thing I can't understant is that....I keep remembering only bad things, bad moments and how ugly and dirty he really is....and still, I suffer because I am not with him and he doesn't care we are not together anymore...
Why do I care about him? I just want to get rid of all these feeling I have for him..... |
trust me....i know where you are coming from....I would give nearly anything in this world to make everything alright with her and me but I know its not up to me. I did everything that I could for her and if "that leaf" kept doing the thing to hurt me, let the wind carry it away. The leaf is dead and just let the wind carry it away. The leaf isn't even providing shade for you.
I understand that we most likely become addicted some way to the abuse that our partner put us through and we can look past it only bc we want teh worst part to be over. But here is the question you have to ask yourself "Can you see yourself with him, the way he is right now in say a year? 2 years? Or are you going to end up so stressed out you start to get gray hairs and your hair starts to fall out?" I have had both and many more reactions to the stress that I am going throug right now with her and the seperation/divorce.
A million hugs to start the healing process
