Welcome to pc. Congratulations to you on taking such big steps...good signs that your marriage is important. You didn't take the defensive and say,"i'm not too controlling," etc. Well done. You should be proud for that. Did you look through the relationship forum? Maybe someone there can offer advice. I can just let you know you aren't alone and at least she said this during a discussion--and later stated it was anger speaking. My second (and last) ex-husband told me after I flew out to Boston to spend the weekend with him (military, supposedly looking for housing). The first clue should have been that he didn't meet me at the airport. Second should have been that he went to Canada with some girls and didn't see anything wrong with it. But no, I'm stupid. We were driving me back to the airport after a decent visit, stopped at Burger King, had our food in the car and he said, "I don't love you anymore. I'm not in love with you and I don't love you." Takes bite of whopper, puts the car in gear. You are not alone. I hope you find support and advice here at pc.