Everything is impossible to live now. Thank you __zh and RhysMadison. i'm sorry that its so hard for you too.
Thank you for not ignoring me- it feels so terrible to post my dilemmas only to find that no one cares. Thank you for caring. we're having a really difficult time and i don't feel able to cope at all..

The T that i go to was never supportive at any time- i always leave in some degree of crisis and he always ends the session exactly on time, no matter how i am. Last week i couldn't make it out of the building without losing it in the ladies room. It's a hospital and someone came because my crying was making too much noise to 'see if i wanted to 'talk to someone' - to get me committed really. No. i don't have anyone to be if i don't have work to go to and the other part's places to go. There is no 'hospital part 'so i fall apart there.

There isn't any support any where anytime. (((((RhysMadison))))) i know how it is. My family thinks that parts are demons and i have to hide going to T. i wasn't able to afford T or hold a job so i created a part that could work because i couldn't. i don't have any idea what she does- we go through a door and come out again and i don't remember what happened. Sometimes i don't know if i'm going to work or coming home - i have to look at my clothes to see if they're dirty. It pays for therapy. That's how much i want to get better. It's an uphill battle and it feels like everyone inside and outside is kicking me down. i don't want to make it through another day like this. It's too painful.

i don't know how anyone does it, how does anyone get better? i wish that we had the kind of DID with parts like a club inside and a caring supportive T and all kinds of support where people are just happy to help.

Why is it always like that? i'm so afraid of facing another day like this. It's so so confusing to try to live like this. It hurts so much to always be in crisis.

i just wish i had normal problems that someone could help me with. i'm so tired of going on like this. It feels like no one in the world understands. Inside is hurting so much . i don't know what to do. i'm afraid of my parts. i don't know what they do or think. i keep getting worse and worse.
kerria