I know pictures aren't the same, I'm sorry. But with pictures you can use them as a focal point, a distraction. You are far from a failure as a father. You are an idol. Someone who is so determined to feel better he even fights himself on it--not fully understanding why you are still here but trying to feel better despite it being so hard. What better role model for childrento have. Unfortunately that's the one normalacy in your life that has been far from "normal"--the fact that life goes good and bad and back again. We all experience it, you are much more sensitive to it as you have had so much bad, to put it lightly.

I know you think your positive impact has been minimal, but to agree with that would be to agree that I am minimal, Blue is minimal, Kate and the kids and Peg and muffy and kaika and free and every single other person on here who loves you is minimal. I just can't do that. I know you aren't saying we are minimal, you are saying your impact is, but your impact has helped form us in some way, our thoughts, our memories, our ideas. That's pretty big.

Oh Vince, if only there were a way to make the healing process quick and painless, I would be the first to give to you. I see progress in your words, progress from before you left to now. The pain is still there, but there is a new hope or desire.