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I agree with everyone. About labels. But it seems you want people's opinion and here is mine. It sounds to me like you are a lesbian.
Being able to function sexually with a man is different than being able to “connect” with a man. What I mean by "connect" is that "spark" or that "passion" or that "thinking about your kiss last night, still sends chills through me"...
It sounds like you are saying you don't "connect" with men. Now, unless that connection problem is a reaction to former abuse or not having a connection with your dad...you are probably just more likely to “connect” with women.
If this is an intimacy problem stemming from former abuse, then it is unlikely that you won’t also have problems connecting with a woman, although I suppose it might be easier to connect with the gender that’s opposite to your abuser.
But, that is not what I am hearing you say.
I think you should explore this. Not by casual sex. I agree with everyone about that too.
I think you should find a lesbian club of some sort, I wouldn't recommend a gay bar as I don't think bars are a healthy place to meet people (imo). But, there are gay churches, and gay community centers...
Anyway, meet and date/get to know a woman who you are attracted to and have stuff in common with. You will find out if it's for you, that way.
You don't have to sleep with her to find out if you are a lesbian. One can ususally find out if she is a lesbian because she wants to sleep with a woman she likes & finds attractive. Then when you do sleep together, and you "connect" it's confirmed and it’s wonderful.
I hope you "connect" with someone, someday, whether it's a man or woman. Good Luck!
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