Caught her online earlier tonight and we are fighting over who gets the dog....so instead of ending our conversation on a bad note, i talked a lil mushy, mushy. We talkd about the relationship and stuff, and apparantly it really hurt her when i didnt immediately put her on my bank account when we wed. I told her that I wasnt comfortable with it at that time. So to see if she could manage money, i said she can take care of the phone internet cable bill using the money from her part time job. Well she quit and i had to take over payments. It wasn't that I couldnt afford it, but i wanted to see how she spent money and if she could save money. She of course didnt save a penny and tonight she claims that she spent the money on us...buying groceries and small stuff. I always told her to use my money (she wasnt on the account but i let her borrow the card).

Well after hearing that and other things i began to doubt my decision and i told her i was. It is like torture....my heart says forgive her and give her another shot, but my mind is saying - hence why i think my body went bonkers.
I asked her what she wanted and she said she wants to end this chapter of her life, start a new one where she gains her independance, and then starts a new chapter with me. In a way, it made me feel good but then it made me question my choice even more. She told me she was going to buy a townhome that had been foreclosed on in another county for $150K. I was like oh thats a good deal but i know you still cant afford that....who are you living there with when you buy it? she said not to worry about it...which of course makes the person you tell not to worry, worry! She finally came out and said it was our old married neighbor from NOVA (the one that knew she was cheating, came into my home for refuge from her psycho husband and kept **** from me!!) who hung up on me when I was having a panic attack here in Iraq!! She didnt tell me a name just that i dont like her. I was like ok is it a friend or family? She said friend...
So it will be interesting when/if i come and visit my ex wife and the old neighbor is there. How am I supposed to feel about that??? Just the thought of Ashleigh and Quincey (the old neighbor) living together makes me angry.
Forgot to add- Somehow she knows about the other girl. She says she isnt angry, but happy for me and is willing to be there as a friend to offer advice with my relationship with her.