Hi Patty,

The people I met were on a forum that had a similar format but were far from whats happening here at PC. which from what I can see is good healthy nurturing interactions. It feels safe here . This other forum was for those who were suffering from abuse from those with personality disorders .

I saw some great things spoken there and I saw some debilitating defeating information that would basically have anyone running in the opposite direction if one mentioned they had such a disorder. Much of what transpired was cruel and it was allowed. I saw many things happen .

No, these peole I met were not on a dating site. Some did share pictures of thier personal life on these forums not many but a few.

I have shared pictures of me off forum.

I did have one experience . I was stalked by a man on this other forum . And he stalked another woman . we found out by sheer accident . He was a very angry malicious poster who was an MD who sent us photos in PMs . He changed his screen persona . he got close to me by trickery. He left with parting words with glee of mixing medical coctails for these poor individuals.

I have been having some inexpilcable visual connections happen to me both on line and off line that I have been trying to make sense of .

call it devine coincdence . it has me on my knees.

on one hand yes I do feel stalked when I think it through because of these connections. It did not occur to me. till lately.

any way through trying to figure this out . I have been called a stalker a criminal and a danger to a persons family.

I've done much work . I look in many directions . I can see the harm in my need to sort stuff out.

I can see something I did to a woman years ago in my trying to set a boundrie with her that went over board. Telling her not to contact me again or I would call the authorities. for her attack on me in an ACOA meeting I was leading.

what happened as a result of that though was she made lots of phone calls made a huge noise that got me banned from a 12 step meeting. and no one would tell me why .
It devasted me . kept me from meetings for ten years. Im stll gun shy.

I belive Ive learned from this .
To not just go around acuusing someone of being a stalker . or a criminal .

think it through. And more importantly, when thinking about doing it to someone who has been doing much work on themselves knowing whats happened to them preiviously shared all . pretty darn cruel.

About the afraid to procceed. I guess its a combo of having just gone to MY new GP to find out why I fainted a few weeks ago and after being honest with her about my past history as a teen she asked the question.

are you a danger to yourself or others. ? and having had been called this other . Im just hit over and over .

Seeker I don't know you or what your past history or mental health work has been.

I have been through...

A LOT alot of strange happening from doctors and therapists. that have been distructive to me.

I had the therapist I confronted

in anonymous letter about the inappropriate mention of a method for controlling my eating , tell a new therapist I was stalking him ..


So I guess that time I was on my way to my class and he was running down the road with his shirt off was me stalking him.

And the time I went to the university Libray and pulLed up near the university chappel and he was in a wedding and saw me I saw him

that It was me stalking him.

Parinoia from a professional can be very distructive to a victium when they are indeed in the wrong. but they are always in the right because they are knowledgable. Im just a peon.

Its real unfair . Ive been through More that any person should on thier path to recovery .

I just need to trust my inner voice.
at this point . I need more importantly to forgive myself for disobeying it and trying to change this person so I would be treated as an equal not a patient someone to be tested and never trusted.
it aint and never will happen. period. thats real clear.

I need to just stay with those who are safe and stay away from those I have questions about.

whats my point here .
maybe its realy this.

how do I proceed . who do I tell what and how much when making new friends .

should one make friends with a married man . should a married man tell one they are married before beggining any contact or corespondance should one take note of miss represented information provided .

what kind of message is a married man giving when he has had an intmate freindship with another on line woman .

Is it best to not have a friendship with a married man on line.

why am I feeling dumb right now.

does one have the right to have true information when corresponding with an online male friend.

I think you may have a key answer here . You can't really discern the good and the bad just through online comunication.

I have also learned one thing . if one is sharing information and ideas one not need send or post pictures of oneself in various settings telling a person how nice it is to be here but you cannot.

live and learn I feel like the ultimate Chump. right now.



Patricia




er1950;932310]HI, Patricia...
I'm not clear on some of what you've posted. Were these men you met on forums such as PC, or on Internet dating/singles' sites? If they were singles' sites, can you name which ones?
I know, even people here on PC, have met their soulmates thru such singles' sites. I tried that for several years, but my impression, unfortunately, is that a person you meet online can appear to be anything and everything you might want them to be. I stopped, 4 years ago, trying to meet someone this way, feeling I lacked the ability to "discern" between the good and the bad.
You said, "I am at a loss now as to how to proceed . it may be I just need to be in real life . that may be safer ."
You also mentioned stalking. Do you feel that you are being "cyber" stalked at this time? If so, I hope you take measures to protect yourself, such as blocking emails, etc.
Patty

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