I searched for this and didn't have any luck, so forgive me if this is an old subject.

My ex always uses me as his free babysitter when he wants to socialize, go on business trips, fishing trips, etc. when these things happen during his scheduled visitation.

I always feel obligated, as the mother, to say yes, even though he refuses to reimburse me in any way. (He also doesn't pay child support). He won't even send money along for the extra food they'll eat while they're here. His excuse is always "I'm broke. I don't have any money on me. I don't have my checkbook on me." There's an ATM 50 yards away from my house, he refuses to go get cash.

I also work from home, so it's an imposition on my work schedule (and lord knows I have a hard enough time keeping myself on task, let alone with kids bugging me all the time).

I don't trust his choice of babysitters if I say I can't watch them, so I say I'll do it and them fume with anger the entire time.

In four years of this, I have gotten EXACTLY $55. $50 when he went to Colorado for five days on business and $5 during four weeks of summer school and the kids came here from noon until about 6:00 every day for two of those four weeks. Extremely generous, isn't he? In all fairness, he did work on my computer last year in the interim between girlfriends because he didn't have anyone nagging him about conversing with or helping out his ex.

So, how do I say no, or else demand that he pay up? I hate confronting this guy, because he always comes off with some *seemingly* viable reason for not being able to cover the expenses he'd have to cover if I wasn't watching the kids on his time. But his claims of being too broke to pay for food are because what's he doing when he's gone? Going bowling or fishing with his buddies and drinking mass quantities of beer.