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how long will i cry alone, my guts wringing inside me until i want to puke or cut or do something bad to myself. How long will i hold this pain alone while my spouse sleeps peacefullly in the other room. Why am i still here. I'm sick of being told how strong i am, how brave or whatever. I'm funking alone with agony that tears me into pieces again and again. Will it ever be truly past.
where is god right now. Right now while all the crap i shoved down into my heart for ****ing decades comes screaming up my throat alone alone. Damn it all.
i care when people hurt. I can't not care. But people can not care about me so easily i am not invisible and i bleed like anyone else. Why does no one see me. No one sees me.
i am very pissed off by that
all the easy ways out in my home are off limits. A conscience can be a real pain in the ***. I always thought it was bad form to commit suicide and ask someone else to clean it up off the floor.
i knew that at age 18 which is better than any of my abusers ever knew. I am sure you will have to haul this post off since i broke every rule my angry littles can remember.
signing off. One pisssed off bunch of pixies. Not so cute now are we!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
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  HEALING HAPPENS
Last edited by multipixie9; Feb 01, 2009 at 01:39 AM.
Reason: i ****ing feltlike it
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