I'm so angry and as usual alone. This mad ***** is who i need to be in that damn counseling room i've been going to for 14 years

what stupid wimp takes 14 years to find her inner ***** and backbone???????? I did my best to swallow all the rapes, all the torture, all the semi-drownings, all the knives held to my throat and the one they held my hand across until it took a babies life. I am ****ing tired of holding it all inside so i wont hurt anyone like they hurt me. How long will my body and mind hold me into the pain of this. I am so angry and tired of this pain. I rage inside and i am a christian and somehow we christians are not supposed to rage and curse and want to do acts of violence and desperation!!!

Pollyanna be damned i hate my life and i wish i was dead. I will never want to be like them. I wouldnt hurt them if god himself held them still for me. I despise them for ****ing cowards to hurt babies and small children. Perverted cowards and miserable sons of *****es. Damn them all to hell i hate their ****ing guts i wish they would rot in the lowest hell and i'm really pretty damn sure they all will.

My littles want comfort so much and i want karate lessons.

How can i give them what i can't ever remember getting???

Leslie in agony and rage and bitterness and hatred