I can understand just how your son felt about this. After certain events, I marveled at my own actions, thinking, "how can I do this? Did I really do this?" I'm not talking about cruelty or improper actions as far as the war was concerned. I'm talking about the coolness and fearlessness that would over ride what should have been fear and confusion.

In the heat of battle, bullets so thick they sounded like a swarm of bees, did I really call in the air support as calmly as discussing a Saturday afternoon ball game. Did I really call in the artillery and adjust fire without a concern in the world who was on the receiving end ... well, the only concern was that the artillery shells did their work on the enemy. Did I really direct my units to fire and support and move and circle and duck for cover because more air support was on the way. Did I do all of that without feeling or fear and then afterward, alone, in the dark ...

one of the moments that took my breath away was he was telling me about the enemy literally on fire running down the road yelling, help me!!! he said his humanity wanted to run up and help them but he had to do a reality check and not help.