See, Jan, your love and caring extends to others and adds another emotional dimension to all of the memories and recollections. Thank you.

The intensity of ptsd comes and goes as do the memories and as I come and go from PC. I really only found out about PC a short time ago. At first, being here was like a miracle. Mostly chat without the courage to leave posts on line. Then a withdrawal from the whole forum and the chats. Then a rush back when I saw myself falling far, far into that pit I had just escaped.

Now, I post in the forum, sometimes deleting. Sometimes asking moderators to remove things I posted long ago because the heebie jeebies just get to be too much. I almost never read any other forums outside Combat PTSD because I identify so easily with their pain and confusion and find myself droping further into a state of depression without being able to help in any way ... kind of like your son watching the burning man run. Hearing the stories of what has happened to all these wonderful people makes me want to take action to help them ... and to seek out the perpetrators of those atrocities and have a "conversation" with them about what they've done.

And you read all that stuff and wonder why does my insignificant experience bother me so much compared to what has happened to others. In spite of everyone saying not to compare tragic experiences with what happened to others, that's the way it goes. Another illogical aspect of what we see here.

Thank you for not hating the warriors.


i am grateful i have met you here at pc. i want to thank you for all you have done. i honor you. i will pray, jme, for you and ask that you are given some peace from this ever vigiliant nightmare. i hope you will stay in touch with us here and that you keep writing what's on your mind. it won't change necessarily how you feel but perhaps it will lessen the intensity. you needn't feel that you have to put on a happy face either.. things like this don't trigger me, so if ever you need to pm or choose to, please feel free to do so. love from an army mom,