My first post. Hello all, and good to see you. I voted yes to wanting to know, and fast. Control is a tricky business. Life and a long time in a 12-step fellowship have taught me that if you want to control other people, you're on a no brainer. At the same time, I so hate the thought of lah-lahing along in daily life with someone whose mind/body/spirit is elsewhere.
They say knowledge is power, but like all forms of power, it can work for you or against you. Plug in the kettle and you get a cup of hot coffee. Stick your finger in the socket and you're hurting. I want to know about the long periods that my husband is just ... away. I am very tempted to do some snooping, but so far have been able to step back from that destructive behaviour. Pretty sure that snooping is like a finger in the socket ... but. How do you deal with the "but"?
Glad to be here.
Yours aye
eden
Quote:
Originally Posted by ncguynva
Well after being in this position.....I can say with all confidence that if she wasn't being obvious about it, or if it was just a one night stand sorta speak.....then no...i would rather not know, as long as she would look in herself and work on it.
Now I am not sure if I came out and told anybody on here this, but I cheated on my wife when we were engaged. I am not making excuses for it (because there is none) but she was pressuring me for a date for the wedding. Well being in the military and being as things were changing every 2 seconds I told her I didnt know, but she would be the first to find out after I found out. One friday night (actually it was almost every night) she called me and wouldnt stop asking me when the date was. After I explained to her the situation, I guess the stress from planning the wedding and not getting a date from me got to her and she said "Well I dont know if I want to get married to you now"
That hurt and I was just like "Ok, if you feel that way, then dont marry me" and I hung up on her trying to apologize and such. Needless to say I was pretty pissed. Well as weird and unbelievable as it sounds, my cell phone took a crap on me and wouldnt hold a charge, turn on or anything after I hung up on her.
About 30 seconds later a buddy of mine from the barracks asked me what i was doing that night and I told him I didnt have any plans. He took me out drinking at a club where I met another girl and one thing led to another and I ended up sleeping with her. I never told her, only my best friend and now you guys. After I did what I did I looked to why I did it and didnt try to put blame on her for my actions.
|