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I can relate to your feelings. For years what I "knew" and what I was "able to do" were worlds apart. I read mountains of self-help books and spiritual books and carried a lot of good ideas and principles around in my head and was all too eager to share what I had learned.
In some arenas I "acted as if" I was doing it all when I wasn't, just to look good in the eyes of others. Also because I truly felt I was a terrible person and helping others made me feel a wee bit better about myself. And I did have a heart for other hurting people.
None of that proved I was a bad person, just a wounded one. Just emotionally lost.
I'm glad you shared honestly with us right here, right now. Being honest in a safe place is freeing. And so many of us understand, really we do. And we accept you right where you are today. Being confused, wounded and lost does NOT make you a bad person.
My hope is that you continue to share the "real you" with us. Many of us fellow wounded accept others like no one else can.
sending a hug if you want one,
Judy
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However confused the scene of our life appears, however torn we may be who now do face that scene, it can be faced, and we can go on to be whole.
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