I'm a wreck. I'm shaking, because I have made the decision to go back to my adoptive family's house. I'm taking the presents for my dog that she should've got for Christmas. It's a scary and possibly dangerous task, but I don't care, so long as my baby gets the presents she deserves.. Chris is taking me..

I just know that Chris is someone that I should trust, because he's been there and come through it and he knows how to deal with it, as a professional and someone who's been through it. He's helping me.. And I need to understand that he's there to help me, to care about me and to be a friend, like many others aren't being.

I need to go and have a bath and pin my hair up, make myself feel better, then I'll be off to take the presents to my dearest little puppy. (even though she's 2!!). Its something I need to do, to make myself feel better in the knowledge that I promised myself and Shana etc that I would get her something, and I will be giving it to her.. God, I hope she runs into my arms!! That'll surely bring the tears.. But I don't care, it'll be happy tears because I miss her so much, but sad tears because I'll have to leave her..

I'll just want to scoop her up into my arms.. Take her, run away with her.. I could do it because she's legally mine, my name's on the birth papers, pedigree papers, both the ones that my adoptive family have and the ones that the owner of my pup's Mum and Dad. God, I miss her so much and if I see her, taht'll be the best day of my life.. It'll bring my spirits up so, so much.

Anyway, I'd better go.. I need to calm myself down a little..

Thanks for caring.