Eva, about prayer, sometimes the answer is no, because sometimes the thing we ask for isn't what is best for us. Just like sometimes we have to tell our children no. Or sometimes the answer is "not yet."

I understand about not wanting to be here, too. I never wanted to be here past the age of 30, anyway, but I've been 29 for 6 years already. And a few times my beliefs were the only thing that kept me from finding my way out of here.

Putting pieces together sounds like progress. Whether or not you can find all of the pieces and put them in their places, you can gain a better understanding and learn to get more out of life. What are your dreams, goals, aspirations, etc.? What would you like to get out of life? If you didn't have these struggles, what would you be doing right now?

((((((hugs)))))))
Rap