Coming from a violent child hood, I had to work out where I stood on this issue.......

1. I did not smack out of anger......there is a big difference but fine line between discipline and abuse.
2. I always warned my son (count to 3!) before I did it.
3. I never smacked him anywhere but on the bum/nappy.
4. I only ever had to smack him twice.
5. I only EVER used my hand. Never wooden spoon, frying pan or other utensils used by my unpredictable mother on me.

I also used other methods.....

I would send my son to his room and sit in his doorway until he told me what he had done wrong and why.....he hated that!!!! He was not allowed to leave until he did.

I called a police friend of mine to discuss with my son the illegalities of taking things that did not belong to him. My friend showed up in squad car and full uniform. My son was hysterical and it broke my heart but he has never done it again and has a good social conscience.

When my son went through a pyromaniac stage, I told him I was going to take him to the hospital to see burnt children(sorry if that is terribly insensitive) so he could see the devastation of fire. He never did it again.

So, don't know if I sound like a hard-*** but he is 14 now and well-adjusted with good friends and good grades and is well-mannered. So I guess something worked, so help me God!!!!