Yeah she has said that she needs to find herself...and stuff like that. I didnt tell her i wanted her to be a housewife if she came to Japan. and I told her before about "experiencing life" that we should do taht together. In all reality, there isnt anything i can do. She wants to date other guys like she started to a year ago....fine...i will not keep somebody in a relationship that they dont want to be in.
At least she wont do it with the money i make anymore.

here was my anwer

In regards to the Firebird being an accomplishment and my marriage shouldve been my accomplishment....I thought because I couldn’t/didn’t motivate you enough to go to school for our family that I failed you. After I saw that you weren't going to school I tried to make things right I took the reins to provide for our future. When we were engaged, it took me telling you to get your GED by a certain date or I wasn't going to marry you. Within a couple weeks you got your GED. It felt like the same thing again...but I wasn’t going to divorce you bc you weren’t continuing your education...i love you and wanted to provide for you and help you.
Once I saw that you didn’t have any serious intentions on going to school, it depressed me. I couldn’t understand why you didn’t want to do that for our children? You said 2 or 3 times that you were going to start school. The first time I was excited as hell! I felt really good because it finally got through to you, or so I thought. Then you procrastinated and lost interest in school and it got me down. Then you contacted ITT Tech and I was like alright....she's serious this time. Nope....not then either. Then late 2007, early 2008 you picked it back up. I think that was the reason my parents weren't overly excited when you told them about school. You had said it before and then nothing. I wanted you to be proud and feel good about securing our future.
You talked about me telling myself "this women unlike no other makes me happy and does something to me that elevates me further than I could have ever imagine" I did think that... You were the only person that motivated me to do better in the Marine Corps. You gave me so much strength you don’t even know babe. GySgt Russell pulled me aside after you and I started getting a lil more serious and asked me what changed? I told him it was you. He said he was glad I finally found something to raise my spirits and give me something to look forward to.
It was the thought of us being parents and you starting to be a housewife in order to start being a mother that motivated me to levels I didn’t even know. Did you know that my PFT went up like 50 points during that time?? My run time was 22:30, 100 crunches and 20 pullups. The best PFT I have ever had and most likely will ever have. And you want to know what? It was me and Bonds that went running together for PT in the morning. Guess what we would talk about? A family...what to consider....what to expect, hell we even talked about what a good family vehicle would be.
And then Murphy's Law came into effect....I got selected to be a recruiter. That put a complication on things, but I tried thinking of it in a positive way. Do you remember you and me talking in the doorway of the bedroom? I had to accept those orders when they were going to be presented to me. I didn’t want to be a recruiter...I wanted to stay at Quantico and once selected for SSgt, which I had high hopes for in 2007, I wouldve been all about starting a family. I told you that before. It wasn't the extra money that I wouldve gotten, it was more of "there is no way I can get kicked out of the Marine Corps. I have a guaranteed career now...i can support my family without worries" Bc once you are a SSgt, if you chose, you can kick back and relax. You can retire as a SSgt. Not many people do that but basically what I am getting at is that I didn’t work hard in the Marine Corps to make my dad proud, I didn’t do it for my mom either, or sherrie or becky or anybody else. I did it for you. Do you think I really wanted to go back to the woods where the chiggers raped my legs???? Hell no I didn’t. It was kinda fun (not the chiggers part haha) but teaching the Lts. But I had to be there so early and come home so late.
I did all I could when I was on the MEU to re enlist overseas so we could start our life with more money and that has always been a fear of mine...beign broke....not having enough money to support you or me....failing you in other words. But I failed on a different level. One that I didn’t even realize I was doing, one that I didn’t think I could ever do. I never wanted you to feel the way you did....and it felt terrible knowing that. I tried to go through the motions and be more affectionate but the flame that bruned so hot and bright wasn't there. I didn't feel like you supported me. I know it sounds weird that you motivated me but didn’t support me. It was like, I see my wife....i think about the future I want us to have. I wanted that to be a reality so I took actions on that dream. Yes, you cooked dinner and made me Crystal Light but what I am talking about is supporting my career. Encouraging me to better myself in the Marine Corps...All I heard from you was me not being affectionate and obsessing about the car. I did nothing but support, encourage...hell I even helped you study, did your homework, take home quizzes....
When I was in Sgts Course....you helped me study. It felt great...my wife helping me out. You leaning on me....me leaning on you. That was awesome...to be able to count on somebody and for them to be there for support.
You say you never took me for granted. I find that very hard to believe now. All I wanted to do was to give you strength and inspire you to start school, be on the Dean's list, and just grow as an adult. Take responsibilities and if you fumble (which we all do....i admit I fumbled some things), learn from your mistake, apply it and keep on trucking. That’s why I always told you "Don't be sad about the past...you can't do anything about it. You can only affect the future."
So I have another question now....when did you stop wanting to be with me? Just the other day you said you would come to Japan and now it’s a 180* and honestly, I don’t feel any love.
If you are a great catch as you say you are (and this isn’t a put down or anything...just confusing), then you say it was your past and your "demons" that crumbled the marriage. Those are complications that I think I shouldve known about being your husband. I didn’t know anything about your ex bfs other than one guy. You never talked to me about them.
And just because I didn’t date a lot, doesn’t mean I am not good husband material. I don’t need to date to know that.....i learn my lessons pretty quickly. The solutions are not easy sometimes but I always ask myself "why". My Captain noticed that about me....in regards to problems we have here in the unit. He pulled me to the side and asked me if I was always like that. I told him as far as I can remember. Once you get the answer to why, you have the root of the problem and then its up to you on how to fix it.
It sounds to me like you want to be single to go out and party and do what you want, when you want. Well it hurts like hell because that’s what you started doing last year behind my back. You didn’t change....you are still her. You're just being honest with me which I appreciate but knowing that person who said she would be my life partner would rather go out and be a party girl....so be it.