I'm losing everything! I lost swimming, and now I'm losing camp. Both of which practically make my life. They are the two best things in my life and I've lost both of them. Swimming is due to a medical problem I have that doctors can't seem to figure out. Camp is sort of a long story.
I realized today that I can't do it. I won't be able to handle being a counselor this summer. As much as I want it I don't think it can happen. I thought this was what I needed. I thought I found my "calling" or whatever you want to call it. But I guess I was wrong. I've lost almost everything important to me. All I really have left is college and my two best friends. I feel like my world is just crashing. What am I going to do without camp? It was my effing life. I can't let that go. It's been such a huge part of me since I was 8 years old. What am I going to do with my life? I wanted to be able to help people, maybe even change someone's life eventually. But now I won't be able to do that.
I've also realized... for once in my life...
I don't deserve to go through this pain.