[quote=isb63;933938]
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Originally Posted by ihateit
As I have posted in the cogeneral section, and have gotten some very supportive help, I will give a short description here and ask some questions.
My wife came home last Monday, after her second session being diagnosed with PTSD, and told me she didn't love me, didn't need me there was nothing I could do and she was just numb. Turns out there were things I was doing wrong, and we are working on the marriage, as of the moment. She just got out of a counseling session, and I am on pins and needles hoping nothing has changed yet again, as this information to me about her not loving me anymore came out of left field, and tore my heart out. If you want to see that thread, it's in the general discusion under Sad, Scared, Lost... I can't post a link yet. 
I guess my questions are, I assume the symptoms vary from person to person, and I have read up on PTSD, but people here deal with it. She says she loved me, even as of Sunday? Then bam? Then now, don't worry, everything will eventually be ok. I am giving her space and time and just letting her know I am here and I love her, not pushing ... well trying my best. So what is it like, the depression, the numbness, do you just not feel all of a sudden, and then do? I am a bit lost and any help would be greatly appreciated! Thank you How long has she been diagnosed with this condition? Is she on medication? You are doing the right thing by giving her space and time, but you also need help for yourself. Maybe some counseling for yourself, and some meds for you too, to help with the anxiety. She probably does not know whether she loves you or not. How long have you been married? Is she able to function in her daily activities? That would be a goos sign. She is in a stae of confusion herself. PTSD, and the concomitant feelings, whatever thay may be, can come and go. You need to have patience patience patience. |
I posted the location of the thread so you could see, I'll cut and paste the gist of it here.
I have been married to my wife for 11 years. I love her deeply, my world revolves around her and our children. Up until Monday, this week, I thought everything was ok (ignorance is bliss?). I knew we were having a few problems, and just thought we needed to talk. During the talk she spit out I am not in love with you, I don't need you, this is over and there's nothing you can do about it.
I came to find out, I had made a few huge mistakes, I was too controlling, but didn't know I was doing it. I have anger issuses, which I am now taking under control and seeing a therapist for (started before she mentioned this, that she hated my anger outbursts).
So, I am seeing a T, but I haven't had nor felt the need to even get close to angry, and like I said I am giving her time and space to work it out. As of last night, I am feeling more confident in our relationship, as she said again everything is ok and will be ok. I think in 2004 her T said she had it, but she didn't tell me than, or they had started working on it, but she felt better and quit seeing her T, and I didn't do anything to help her that's for sure.
Her symptoms seem to be, for a lack of words, weaker than most with PTSD, at least right now, and maybe it's because of all this and her seeing a T. She's happier now, we laugh, cried we laughed so much last night. We talk, she shares, she used to not talk that much at all to me, hence my blissful ignorance of what I was doing was killing us. I assumed for each it would be diff, the symptoms and how many, how strong. She thought she had BPD, but doesn't it's she has schizoid tendancies, so I am very luck she ever talked to me, yet alone date and marry me. After 11 years I am NOT willing to just give up, actually never give up, so was looking to see what I need to do that maybe she hasn't mentioned to help her through this.
@ Phoenix7 Thanks
That did help...comes and goes, I know it's going to be a lifelong thing, and I told her I am prepared to deal with that, I love her no matter what.
Just, again is there anything I need to do that maybe she hasn't mentioned to help her through this, or that I am not doing already?
Thanks, you guys here are great!