Hello Toller, welcome to PC.

I have been seeing my T for a year and half, and I still have trouble talking to him, sharing my pain, opening up, letting the walls down. T pushes me sometimes but that always makes everything worst because when I was growing up my parents were all about punishment and discipline. My T has told me that he has to remind himself to be patient with me and let me go at my own pace even if that means we go slower. He is always reminding me that I'm on the driver seat and he is like a backseat driver. Your T wants you to open up so she can help you but she needs to respect your pace. I know it's hard, and that it seems like there is a huge power inbalance but you need to be able to communicate to her if you feel pressured. One thing I learned coming here is that sometimes it helps to talk about why you can't talk. I know it sounds silly, but it really does help.