I'd say manipulative, controlling, over-bearing, passive-aggressive, obsessive, guilt-tripper for starters.

you do not know me, but i'm older and i've seen this pattern so many times. he calls it love but it is all about him. he "needs" you to fulfill him and make him feel secure and safe and loved AND IN CONTROL.

if i saw you doing something wrong, i would tell you, but it is not you in the wrong here. he is trying to force you to give what can only be given freely. no one is perfect in a relationship, but what he says you are doing wrong is not wrong. the discomfort you feel inside are your INSTINCTS WARNING YOU - YOU REALLY NEED TO LISTEN INSIDE!!!!!

if you can get a hold of a Bible in the new testament part there is a description of what love looks like and is like. I Corinthians 13th chapter. It describes the characteristics of love and this guys behavior is not it. It starts out saying Love is patient and kind and unselfish...approximately. i forgot you can go on biblegateway.com and find many Bible versions that you can read. it is so important because love is what we all hope for so much but don't always find.

i do not know what else to tell you except i honestly think it will be mostly downhill from here on. if he would pull a sneaky attack against you in a PUBLIC forum, what will he learn to do in private and public if you stay a couple???

i'd suggest looking up "controlling relationships" and you will probably see him there. this kind of behavior accelerates and gets worse. if you were married to him you would have to account to him for every moment 24/7. some women end up in prison to their mate, with extreme demands and jealous ranting and for some also physical abuse and emotional battery.

i've been married 28 years and my husband is as imperfect as i am, but he would never do the things you talk about here. it would drive me nuts if he did!!!! we exercise trust with each other and we report in to each other when needed. i would enjoy it if he called me a little more often, but i have to adjust to his kind of job schedule where we can't call and chat to catch up. reality is what it is.

take good care of yourself, this man will not. (i don't mean to be overly blunt but this guy makes my skin crawl)

leslie