melissa - please do not think you are a burden. i read your post, and yes, i do not know you but i can sympathize with you. i'm not in a similar situation anymore, but i can imagine living with constant fear is extremely energy-consuming and terrifying. i'm sorry you have to go through that daily.

but - as luce and chaotic and rhapsody said - it is better to let it out than keep it inside, letting it eat you from the inside. releasing it bit by bit helps in the long term. please keep posting.

safe hugs to you if you want them,
twilight