Thanks everyone for being so nice.

Trying so hard to be big all the time and not be mad and not be sad and to just do all the grownup stuff that needs to get done. There's just too much. Too much to do and no way to do it. I don't wanna be here at the office but I got to. Someone's got to and I guess that's us. me. whatever.

Triggertriggertrigger???


He got really mad last night. Really mad. the neighbors called the cops 'cause they were scared if he was hurting me. He didn't hurt me, just yelling alot. The cops went away but he didn't stop yelling and the cops came back and took him to the hospital. He was drunk. REALLY drunk. The doctor had to run the blood test twice because the number was too high. He's not mad at me anymore but now he's sad and wants to die.

I'm so tired! we was at hospital until almost 1, and I had to get up to come to work at 6:30. Gotta be a grownup no matter what. just wanna stop but I can't stop. We can't stop have to work. have to earn a living and nobody knows what we're going to get when we get home. maybe he loves us maybe he's mad. I don't know. never know...I wanna go home and there's no more home. Just wanna go to bed with Hello Kitty. Kitty is safe.