(((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((TPND))))))))))))))))))))))))))
I wish that I could give those in real life to you. Through your pain, please know how proud I am of you and how proud you should be of yourself for doing this for you. How mature of you to realize that, even though it hurts, you need this--he needs to get help, you need to continue with your help and you two were not healthy for each as you are right now.

I'm glad you put the blade down and didn't go through with your plan. You are right--if you do, you will come right off the list for being able to move out (unless of course you go too far and then you will be moving out--permanently). Taking care of you, doing things for you is not od'ing or SI'ing. It's fighting those urges, just like you did. Way to go. Call Chris or Emily or Sky or just get out of your apartment, go for a run or walk, go to the store, something to change your focus.

Wow! Just look at all what you've accomplished! Those urges are terrible to fight and you did it!