I resist judgement on anyone cafegrrrl. You are a grown woman who has hundreds of choice to make every day. They are yours and as you have shared,,you have no dependents, so most of your decisions affect only you.

I have been around substance abuse all my adult life..some as a user and some as a educator...mostly my own education.

One thing I have learned is that denial kills far more people than any drug. It allows pollups to grow undetected in colons, arteries to clog one molecule at a time, a small cough to become malignant destruction and addiction to patiently wait for its moment to kill,,,one bowl, line or shot at a time.

I began with a stolen beer and ended with emptying stolen pints of cheap vodka in six or seven shakey swallows. And every moment in between telling myself I was OK and was hurting no one but myself.

Your using two drugs,,one legal and the other questioned by many, to get through your day. You have measured your intake in response to unfair critiques and questions. Your answers tell folks your OK and in some cases,,its none of their darn business. Its none of mine either,,but you posted on our forum and if I can't offer you the best of my experience,,then why bother...?

You can do exactly what you want and I won't judge you. I will stand next to my tree in the middle of the woods and softly share that I have walked out. As I lean on my tree and watch the lost make bigger and bigger circles I remember the path of my circle(s) and how I once saw a man against a tree. I thought "what a jerk" to be leaning when there is so much ground to cover so many choices to make,,and where is North?

I am the jerk today and I will tell you that I have walked out and it was hard and I took many wrong turns.

Be kind to yourself and if your inner voice tells you there is a problem,,then there is. If your inner voice is quiet or tells you everyone is wrong then,,,well,,maybe we are and your coffee and pot are all you need.

It is not for me to say.

With Care and Respect,

Lenny