I answered I don't know because, I did know, he told me, it hurt but I stayed, it kept happening over 18 years but then I didn't want to know, I pretended everything was ok because we acted like everything was ok. Raised the kids, fell into a friendship marrage(I thought) and then he divorced me. Now I'm still very messed up that I lied to myself for 18 years and did not face it. Had to go through the whole thing of finding out it was even more distorted than I thought and the kids knew. Now they are angry with me for being so delussional all those years. Complicated but I just don't know what would have been right.