(((((((((((((((( OneOfMany ))))))))))))))))))))
Let me know if you find out?
First of all you are not stupid and didn't deserve what happened to you. Secondly, do you have a T? Your T can help you with expressing your thoughts hopefully.
I'm sorry you find it hard to express your thoughts, I can relate to that. I often feel like I 'know' what I want to say, but it doesn't come out (just like a nightmare, can't scream)
I hope you figure this out
Take care,
Molly