Kerria, I so wish I could do more to help you. I really feel for what you are going thru. & people do care here.
Getting better takes time. That's such an understatement, isn't it. What your T did to you was unprofessional. I'd sue his bootay off big time for breaking confidentiality. Think of it this way, you don't need them. They only seem to damage you more.
I have gotten better before. In '91/'92, I was near complete integration. Then in '93 I was r*p*d. I don't have any plan on getting "that close" again. For fear I will be traumatized. But people do get better. I'm at a point where I don't want to lose my people. I tried 2 years ago w/ intense therapy & most had integrated & gone (definitely not by my wishes as I didn't want a repeat of the '91 deal). But I had "called" them back if you will. I hated being alone in this mind. I'm not even the original personality. Now that is so difficult to explain to those that don't have DID. I have a hard time not popping people in the nose for calling me by "her" name. They just don't understand.
Please feel free to PM me anytime. I'm here for you as well as others are for you. We'll help as much as we can. Just keep talking.
Love,
RhysMadison