heya, coming here a bit late to this post, but I thought I'd post on it anyway.
I think there's a lot of feeling that sex is bad... it's ingrained in so many of us.
I haven't had the same troubles , but I've often felt that having sex is "bad".
Part of this may come from certain parts of society saying it's bad. I don't know...
And another thing I noticed... is:
Quote:
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last night i had a discussion with my husband about the whole intimacy issue. me having to feel bad, etc. i thought i'd just go to bed but i gathered the nerve to bring it up instead. we talked for a minute. looked like it might go okay. i thought about how we dont have any children - how i just cant see having one in my body - how wrong it makes me feel. and how wrong that makes me feel for that making me feel wrong. its so sad to me. i didnt know my life was going to turn out like this. i didnt know i was going to accomplish so little. it made me teary. (was unusually teary yesterday) that set him off. argument. atleast he didnt break anything. just stood over me and rushed me like a big gorilla. idiot. it does scare me some but im not going to take it. it used to break my heart when he'd actually hit me but i'd be damned if i was going to give him the satisfaction of cowering. (not that i was a saint - there were times i hit him, too.) but that's all over now. i never provoke him. now he knows that if he blows up its all on him. i remain calm - i mean i dont always remain Calm - it does make me cry sometimes but i dont provoke him i try to calm him or reason with him. "quit crying" so much disgust in his voice.
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from that... Im seeing a lack of respect for you on his part. Please realize that your feelings are valid, and that they deserve attention. The way I see it, is that no feeling can be "wrong" or "invalid". You feel how you feel, you can't change it. The reasons for how you feel can be wrong, but not the feelings themselves.
Just wanted to say, don't feel bad for feeling this way, it's not abnormal to feel this way. And it sounds like your husband isn't taking everything in stride either. He needs to be there for you emotionally... for me at least sex is not just a physical it's a VERY VERY EMOTIONAL thing. And if the emotional side of your relationship isn't fixed up, then sex could be a problem from that alone...
dunno if that made sense but... sending hugs