(((MissC)))

You are losing patience with the process for a reason. What if that reason were a positive one?

I went through telling all the nasty bits with T, and then there came a point where I just didn't want to talk about it anymore. I had a whole session talking about what the direction and purpose of the therapy was, and we decided to take it in a different direction.

Since then, the focus (aside from the times when life issues intrude) has been on our relationship there in the room. It is more about me NOW and stuff from my past is used only in relation to how it affects my present day life.

Perhaps it is time for a shift in your therapy? Maybe you're losing patience because it is time for a change, and somewhere inside you know it? You've done the exposure work of telling your story. Now, maybe the focus needs to be on how you can be more gentle to yourself.

You are NOT defective. You've made an amazing amount of progress. I see your desire to 'take charge' of the process and question the process as very positive.

Take a session, or two or three and really talk with T about your progress, your expectations, and what you want out of the experience. You needed T to be in the driver's seat before, but maybe now you're ready to get your license!