You're far from a loser. That's the illness talking. I know that voice cause I hear it myself... sometimes several times a day with my rapid cycling. You sound like you're in need of desperate help. I think the help line would be the best thing. You ARE worth their time. You're worth the time I'm taking to write this letter to you. I do it freely and with no regret. I've not had the opportunity to get to know you well yet, but I was looking forward to it. It sounds like you're taking steps to heal, but sometimes that's not enough. Are you in therapy? On meds? If not, those would help I think. They have been my savior. The thing right now is to get you save. If you want, feel free to PM me and I'll help in whatever way I can. Please be safe. If you're in trouble, remember how cared for you are right now and please call the hotline. I'm sending my faith and prayers your way. Let us help. Be safe.

Ry