(((((lost_lonely))))) you ARE worth the time of those people at the crisis hotline. Call them again, even if you don't know what to say.

The first time I called anyone, they asked me how they could help me and all I could do was cry, "I don't know".
Still, they managed to help me, because they are trained to help people talk about their problems. They put me in touch with my t, as a matter of fact, and told him that I needed to be seen quickly.