It's funny that you say that, pessimism...you see the glass half full and believe that if something bad is going to happen it will. Tell ya what, 17 years ago I was diagnosed with panic/anxiety disorder...no one told me much about it including my Ts.

Very recently my wife came home and said we were done, she didn't love me and there was nothing I could do change that. I went OFF! I have never felt such physical and mental pain in my life...3 previous fialed marriages, I was never really in love with my partners...anyway... I had started seeing a new T because I was angry all the time and anxious again. I was doing fine before my family moved to the UK (wife is in the Armed Forces). Until yesterday, altho I did have one really good T who was helping me, I never got to finish with her...I found out a lot about what was up with me and what happened to me for my wife to come home and say such things.

Exactly what you said, I had it in my head that I wasn't good enough for her, and someday things would end with her, and I was just putting it off, because of my insecurities of her leaving me, I got controlling (I didn't know anxiety/panic peeps had to have control), and I was very angry all the time, yelling and hitting things (I didn't know this anger was the flip side of the coin for anxiety/panic disorder). I never mentally or physcally abused anyone, but I would go off. Again, I didn't know that anger, and even to the point of me lashing out like I did, went hand-in hand with anxiety. Now, I do. BUT, if I had not worried about my faithful, beautiful, loving wife, who now btw is staying, and we are working on the marriage (there are other factors on her side with her mental health...but that doesn't matter here). She stated she couldn't stand the anger and my conrtolling her anymore. So, you see, I did just what you said, I believed that things would some day end, and they almost did, because I let my anxitey become controlling and angry. If it wasn't for my T and him letting me know that I was very insecure, and that the anger was the flip side of the coin for my anxiety yesterday, would I have ever know? I don't know...I had an idea that this was what it was, I am not totally ignorant to the fact that hrrrm, I was really anxious, and very angry at the same time, and when I am not anxious, I am not angry. I didn't listen to myself but someone else telling me yeah, I need to listen, because it's what it is.

I no longer feel anger, I have to control that, don't and won't lose my wife, and I have to remember that every time I call her and she doesn't answer, or I call her and she doesn't call back for an hour, or I email her and she doesn't respond right away, that NOTHING is going on, she's working, that's what she does, she's not cheating on me, or leaving me.

I have to work on my self esteem, my insecurities, get out of the past, and think just like Sannah. You can't think that everything is going to be bad, yes, some things will be bad, it's life and you can't change that, but if you are a positive person, can learn to deal with what you are feeling, and get past it...you're well on your way. BTW, the only drug that works for me is Kolonopin, I have tried a lot, but I am a normally laid back guy who let 7 years of insecurity build to where I almost lost everything, and that's just not gonna happen again, I belive it won't, I believe my Lord and Saviour won't let it happen, and He's the reason we are still together...he showed me the right T, he took away my anger, yeah, I still get anxious, I'm human, but I can learn to get better, and stop thinking everything is going to be bad, coz since she told me last Monday (week ago), that we were over, every day has gotten better with her, we are getting closer and hopefully she'll make a break through with her therapy and things will slowly but surely be great again. Now she has promised to never leave me and everything will be ok. I just have to be who I am, and not let my anxieties change me.

I totally agree with Sannah, but do see a T, you have to work through this stuff, and you can't do it on your own!

GL to all! And don't be surprised Faylowell, you find the right T, you'll be feeling a lot better, a lot faster than you expected!