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i just read your post, so i could not answer sooner. i do not have a 3 point plan to social achievement. that sounds flippant, but i do not know exactly how a person becomes social.
i believe that how social or not an individual is comes from a combination of genetics and experiences(nature and nurture) in one's family of origin. i was born to be fairly outgoing and social. but, i was born to a mom who was a loner and who had one good friend for 50 years, a second for 35 years and a few acquaitances.my dad fulfilled his social needs at work and on the golf course and we had little or no company at home. our family was a troubled and unhappy place. for me the safest place was alone in my bedroom. it came to be both refuge and prison. i have grown so accustomed to living this way that even desiring to become more social, i am not sure if i can become more outgoing.
if you wish to gain social skills their are organizations which can help. Toastmasters - teaches public speaking and confidence. there are many organizations that meet to help people or even just for fun and you can get connected through many different agencies like the public library, local churches, groups like Habitat for Humanity. it depends only upon your interests and determination to find something to do.
i find myself most connected and happy when i am helping other people. the real issue is finding where you feel you fit in. i hope you find what you seek soon.
leslie
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  HEALING HAPPENS
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