Because I feel like I'm doing everything wrong, I feel like I deserve to hurt more than i already am.. Both physically AND emotionally.. I deserve to die, because I'd stop hurting people then..

He's acting like we're still a couple and I just want to scream at everyone and tell the just to ***** off and leave me alone, that I've had enough of this world and a lot of the people in it, who just don't give a s**t about me, or my issues! They only people I know truly care and give a s**t are the people here.. Who reply to my posts, who talk to me in chat, who PM me to ask how I am, or whatever.. And that means a lot to me..

I just wish that at least SOMEONE IRL wouldn't be out to get something from me bu helping me

I want to die, I have to die, so why don't I just.. Die? I'm losing my mind and if anyone knew I felt this way, they'd admit me, I know they would.. If I went ot the hospital now to get cuts tended to and they asked how I feel now, I'd say I feel like OD'ing and they'd ask me to guarantee that I won't do it and I'll say no, sorry, no can do, I'll be back again you just watch and all taht.. They'll cart me off to musgrove.. I can't do this. I can't be this person anymore. (

I just want to tear my whole body to shreds, rip the sould out from within me and rattle it around, screaming at it, asking why it has to be so *******ed f**cked up and such a s**t face to me?! WHYYYY?!!!

Ugh/ I'm losing my mind and this is whe I SI.. *sob*.. Daddy come home..