Well for me it was a long time coming. I had my first suicide attempt at 15, but my mother was severely bipolar--in & out of mental institutions, attempting suicide, finally threatening to kill us children & herself (after many treatments including meds, ECT's, therapy, etc.) so my father (I wouldn't call him "Dad" as he was pretty much trying to get rid of all of us as we cramped his yacht club partying--functioning alcoholic) was going to get her involuntarily committed to the mental institution. She found out & then asphyxiated herself with a plastic bag over her head. That was 3 mos. after my 1st suicide attempt, though she had attempted so many times before with overdoses that it seemed normal. Mother commitose--call cops again.

So my father sent us off to a boarding school--a couple more suicide attempts for me. School didn't like it & wanted me to have some kind of treatment. Father mad as hell & sick of me causing him trouble & inconvenience.

Ugh--luckily I met my future husband at this boarding school & managed to hang on to him despite his parents trying to tear us apart with all their might. Do you blame them? Mother suicide; daughter some attempts;stomach pumps--sounds like a great dauther- in- law & they were like high society debutaunaute (can't even spell it) kind of people (their daughters). I kind of didn't fit the mold!!

Anyway--fast forward--much trouble with depression. Some hypomania which for me was GREAT so I never went to the doc in that condition. LOVED HYPOMANIA--didn't know what it was. Was only going to GP & he was only seeing me acutely depressed so prescribing anti-depressants which sent me into hypomania & I thought wow--these things really work!! You should have seen my killer tennis game. I ended up on TV (I'm a shy person) for one of my "crusades" I took up while hypomanic.

But I would crash so he would up the dose or change the med & on & on. Finally I changed to an internal med doc & I was in a mixed state--crying & agitated & she dxed me as bipolar with my mother's dx & put me on Depakote & sent me to a pdoc.

Ended up not staying with him. He thought I should be satisfied with "not hearing the radio giving me special messages" which was never one of my symptoms!! The Depakote helped with the agitation not the depression, though.

Found a nurse-practioner who works under a pdoc & specializes in bipolar & took a yr. of trial & error but she didn't give up & we got it--a combo that got me stable for 5 yrs. Then had 5 mos. of hypomanic (ah, bliss) didn't know it was so dangerous & didn't report it. Sudddenly crashed & overdosed. So trying to recover from that.

54 yrs. old. All I can say is see a specialist & if you don't think you are getting a good quality of life or have a collaborative relationship--find another provider. Keep looking. You are worth it.

Don't let "them" treat you as "less then" or brush you off. My provider spends at least 45 min. with me. She knows my life, what books I am reading, how I spend my day, if I am crying... I have her cell phone # & she is my exercise buddy--she says exercise is as important as meds so if I need motivation to call her.

Don't give up until you find relief. The dx doesn't really matter except for ins. purposes & maybe to better understand what is going on with you, but it is all a continuium. I do indiv. therapy & dialectical behavioral therapy; everyone there has borderline personality disorder. I fit right in!

All my best! Suzy