hi everyone,

thank you so much for the hugs. they feel safe and gentle and soothing. thank you so much (((imapatient))) for starting this thread and to all of you who have replied and come back time and again to top me up with hugs .

i had a really rough time last night but i eventually managed to fall asleep (with my doggies to protect me from all the noises i was hearing). so i am feeling a bit better today. the noises have stopped for now but i'm worried they might come back again tonight.

i saw my pdoc yesterday and we are going to meet up again on monday. im really struggling with whether i am going to be able to make it that far . i tried to give pdoc a call at his work but apparently he isn't in until monday anyway. he has given me some medicine in the past to help me stop the noises and to help me get some rest but i'm scared that they are infested with bugs now, and i'm too much of a princess to check.

so i have sent pdoc a txt on his mobile and asked him what to do. i hope he is able to call me back before tonight and let me know. i think if i don't hear from him i might try to go to a doctor and ask for a new script so i can get some meds which are clean.

no one is at home with me until tuesday but my grandparents said they could come and visit me tonight if i wanted. i think that would be good for me but they don't know that i have mental health issues, so i need to make sure i'm calm enough to "play normal" before i invite them over. otherwise i will probably give them a call and have a chat instead.

thank you all so much, once again, for the hugs and your thoughts. ive only been at PC for little over a month so it amazes me and strengthens me that i have so many people who genuinely care for my wellbeing.

i am going to try to sleep again now, but i will update later tonight if i hear from pdoc.

xo deli