I did try to find some links for you but nothing came up sorry biiv. But I just wanted to put my own 2cents into this thread.

BDSM when done with a loving partner can be extremely eye oppening. For me there are two main things I believe there must be between the two partakers, that is trust, and communication. It takes tremedous amount of trust to be willing to put your life and body in someone hands. Of course if you have taken all the safety precautions it will not be about life and death, and I sure hope no one puts them selves in that situation.

But imagine the amount of discussing and openess you have to display about the act within a relationship, what you don't want to do, what you would like to try, what would be too much, what is too little. Trust is displayed, the trust to hand over your experience to that person. Some people find it hard to even display what they feel another is doing wrong in bed under any circumstance, this experience teaches you you HAVE to tell someone, you can't get what you want without telling someone that you want it when the experience is between you and them. BDSM if both parties are willing can be a great way to open up, become close share something, and talk! Make communication, have trust, what I'm sure any relationship needs to survive.

That being said, I feel personally, and I'm sure some will agree, you can't get the same things out of using BDSM with multiple partners as you can within a secure loving relationship. I don't think also that using BDSM every time you engage in a sexual act is that healthy. It is probably a tad unhealthy if it is the only way you can experience sexual pleasure, plus I find it is more a mental exercise of trust, communication, and intimacy, where as I find sex in general to be more physically intimate as well as mentally, as you can let go a bit more without fear of hurting, or going to far with a person.

But that is all in reference to BDSM being part of a sex life, not a lifestyle, I have no experience or knowledge on the lifestyle side of it so it isn't my place to comment.

Lol an essay...sorry about that, but I felt I needed to say it