I hadn't talked or heard from my father (my abuser)since Christmas and was feeling relieved. He called last week and left a message. I haven't called him back and I am constantly going back and forth in my mind should I call him or shouldn't I. I talked to my T and said that I didn't think I was going to call him. My T said that I don't have to amke a decision right away. That right now all these thoughts and feelings about the abuse are just starting to surface and that it is important I surround myself with caring and supportive people. When I left my therapy I felt good about waiting and not making a decision right now whether I am going to stay away or keep in touch. Even if it is just a phone call. SInce it is his verbal abuse that continues, sometimes even a call or thinking about talking to him can trigger those anxious feelings and self doubt. There is a part of me that says You Have To Make a Decision and that it is wrong for me to ignore him. It scares me that he will be angry with me. Then I think who cares if I call or not. He certaintly doesn't becasue if he really cared he wouldn't treat me like he does. How can I deal with this without beating myself up over it? How do you decide what is best. I guess what is most important is what is best for me. Boy I have a hard time thinking that way. How do you start thinking about taking care of yourself instead of worrying about what others will think. Why is it so much easier to get these thoughts out here than in a session? Thanks for being here.