soalone, it's always okay to write a lot if you need to, so please don't apologize. We want to hear your heart and help you along the way if we can. I know I can speak for a lot of people here at PC because I see them saying the same thing to everyone. Yeah, it's weird at first being on a forum but we're real people with the same (or similar) real feelings and hurts. I hope you find this to be a safe place for you to share any time. Also, I'm really proud of you for getting your Master's even if it is a struggle to get a job right now. It might not feel all that significant but it really is. Try to hold onto to what you have accomplished even while you grieve what you may be or are losing. Blessings on you...