oh, candybear, i so wish i could offer answers, help, real life hugs, whatever.... I feel much the same way. Stupid meds, won't get better, why try, others do better than me. I get it. But something tells me you can hold on for another day. then another day. then another day. but try to take it only a day at a time. try to take each med at a time, even when it feels stupid and pointless. i don't know why i keep doing it but i do. some "insane" part of me thinks maybe, just maybe, i'll eventually be one of those success stories. maybe you can dream with me...even if it is just a dream. wishing you thoughts of hope.