Thankyou..

Chris came over last night and we had a chat about it.. I was quite upset at this point, but just could not cry at all.. I have money today and if I have money and I have plans of OD'ing, they don't mix well at all.. I'm scared of myself.. Of what I might do and I just.. I'm gonna mess everything up, yet again..

I don't want to hurt anymore, I don't want others to hurt because of me anymore.. I want them to be rid of this Thing that's hurting them, that's making their lives a misery, that's... That's.. Depressed and angry and upset al the time *sob*

I can't believe people just keep on rubbing it in my face about how my dog, for instance loved the snow, played in it, enjoyed it without ME.. How she (as I thought she would) snuffed the snow and sneezed, blowing it into the air, jumping around in it.. God, I wish I'd been there to see it.. Just for a minute.. But Shana had to rub it in my face, the fact that I wasn't there.. So I'm just.. I'm at breaking point and I swear if they do one more thing, i will break and snap and shatter into pieces and lose it.

I don't want this.