As most of you know, I came to this site after leaving an abusive marriage and the support was amazing..Even more amazing was the way my husband responded...He sought therapy....intensive therapy....and finally, so did I. While therapy and counseling helped us to become friends again, my mother was a different matter. After 8 months of pain and work, we want to make our marriage work....I've seen a determination and a humbleness that I never thought possible from my husband...(therapy is amazing). But during the course of MY therapy, my t asked me to examine my mother's influence on my life and how her behaviour has affected where I'm at now....To make a long story short..Mom is happy when mom is in control. When mom is not in control, she becomes abusive and uses most any method available to "punish". In my life, that method of control has always been to broadcast my every move to the general public...and not always accurately either...Mom's own insecurities make her "inflate" most every account of everything and though I've always found it to be embarrassing, I thought that I coped pretty well. I made a point of not embellishing in my own life..to the point of being overly self deprecating....because it was too humiliating that mom talked so much about my personal matters. The separation was no exception. She told everyone and anyone that my husband was no good, and that she KNEW that under no circumstances would I ever reconcile with him. She even lied about him....telling some people that he was bi-polar....(wrong) and others that he was an alcoholic (also inaccurate). I begged her to be quiet...begged her to remember that he was the father of our children and that inaccurate info was a mistake....she always denied any wrong doing...and believe me, this has gotten her into trouble before....but she refuses to stop talking....Anyway,,,,,when she learned that we were in counseling and working at a reconciliation, she just went bonkers....She had talked so much and to so many, that her pride couldn't handle it. She then announced that she and dad are moving. They are leaving the town they've been in since 1972 and going to Charlotte, to work on controlling my brother and his wife's lives.......I'd like to say that I'm upset, but the truth is....I'm relieved.....Finally, some privacy....And to make matters worse, because Mom is angry with our decision, she struck back by actually starting false rumors about me.....Her Only Daughter! she has claimed to a number of people that I must have a drinking or drug problem....because that is the only explanation for why I would reconcile w/ex. Remember...of all of our family...SHE is the only one who won't seek professional help.....And despite my relief...I'm having problems coping with the "poison" that she is spreading around our small town before her departure. I shouldn't care...it will all blow over..but doggonit...I've been a good and dutiful daughter and I can't believe that she would turn on me this way just because of her own pride. Help! Help me to understand.......