Hi, I have a problem, I think i actually hate socializing. It's kind of weird, i am 19 years old now, and when i was in High school people thought i was some kind of a killer, because i never talked and was always serious. I am still like that, When someone tells a joke in school i just don't find it funny, and everyone in class is in tears from that joke. I guess people would say that i have "friends" but i don't consider them to be my friends just people i know, I would do anything for my friends, and these people that have been my so called "friends" have been taking advantage of that, when ever they were in need i was there to help them, but i never got anything back in return, even when they went out somewhere or on vocation to go camping or w/e they never called me, and many of the people i thought were my friends have betrayed me, and made fun of me. Well at first the fun thing wasn't that bad, because it was the truth, I could never get a girlfriend, I wouldn't say because I'm ugly, I am not, but im not one of those pretty boys either. My face has weird features, because it took punishment from fights (my friends needed help with fights, it was a childish thing in high school and got me into quite a bit of trouble) so yea i have a broken nose, i cant breathe through it. When ever i try talking to some girl, it takes a lot of courage to start talking(It is weird when i ask my self, i am not afraid of many things but socializing is what i am afraid of), and at first its cool, i guess they find me interesting, but at some point i just weird out and say something dumb or do something dumb, and the next day I really don't want to talk to the same girl again, Like i feel awkward, and try to avoid her, even if nothing weird happened the day before. So i have been thinking, if this goes on i will never find a mate, i have two sisters, one is a year older than me and another 2 years, they are still young i know but they are already married. I know i should get a job first and an education, but i am 19 and i never even kissed a girl, i just wanna go away and live in wilderness where there is no people, because i dont mind being alone I seem to actually prefer it, i know its weird.