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I am no stranger to SI. But I haven't done it, more than once or twice, in over 10 years. I was bad enough at one point to be hospitalized on a special unit for SI. But, I beat it and have done well, so far.
I think I might be doing it again, though. I'm not sure. So, that's my question to you all. Is what I am doing SI or just self-destruction?
What I am doing is this:
Making myself sick (physically, mainly) through drug withdrawal. I tapered, but way too fast, off my psych meds. I have been sick as a dog. As I knew I would be. And this isn’t the first time I’ve done it.
Part of it is just about self-sabotaging my life. Part of it is about other stuff.
But, my T said that by purposely making myself sick by going too fast with the taper, was just like cutting, it was just using chemicals instead of _____.
Is he right? Am I SIing again?
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