Ok so here goes .... please take care of yourself in reading this.

TRIGGER WARNING

So on monday i went to my pdoc's office for an appt, and as i am signing in the secretary ( a back up secretary) says to me " do you know you have the handwriting of a serial killer?". I was like OMG i cant believe that she just said that to me . However i tried to let it go and just move on with my appt and believe that she was just joking around with me. I was not very successful and it really got the best of me . So on tuesday morning i decided to call the office and talk to the regular secretary, explain to her what happened and see if something could be done. She was shocked at what was said to me and told me that she had to tell the office manager about the incident.(and very apologetic too) I wasnt really happy about that , since i know this other secretary has a young child and i didnt want her to get in trouble , i just wanted her to think before she talks. So anyway this has really lingered in my mind and has gone places that i never even imagined that it would. I have been consumed with things like .. i wonder if they all think that about me there, i worry that maybe she has studied handwriting and knows something about this stuff, it brought up things from when i was a kid .. I am left handed and i am the only one in my entire family that is. And when i was younger they used to try to make me right handed (since you were possessed if you were left handed).. not to mention the fact that 2-3 days a week she has access to my files ugh! Anyway those are just a few of my thoughts.
Intellectually i know that i am blowing this way out of proportion and should just let it go , but its really freaking me out ! Normally i can just pretend that things are just fine and move on , but not this , its getting the best of me. I have an appt to go back to the office (since my p doc and T are in the same office )on monday of this week , but i honestly just dont think that i am going to be able to bring myself to go. It stinks .. i have been a patient there for 4 yrs now and have never had a problem .. until now . And i cant just stop therapy or taking my meds ( at least the doc does work out of another office ) so if i had to i could see her there , but not my therapist.
I just cant comprehend why someone who is working in the field of mental health would think a comment like that was funny , or appropriate ! Someone please tell me that i am not crazy and that these feelings will pass , and that i am not being a whining baby for reporting her to the office manager.
By the way if it matters i am 41 yrs old . And my current diagnosis are PTSD , Major depression , and Bi Polar .
Lisa