AG, I've had over 10 yrs of therapy and my marriage is one of the things that started it. He's not going to change and I'm not going to lose myself again. The only thing that will change for the good is for him to come to the realization that HE needs to change some things. Like I said, that's not going to happen. The only thing left to do is for me to decide whether I'm willing to keep putting up with it... or not.
As for finding love and happiness, my time is past. There's nothing wrong with being content with my circumstances if I choose to live alone. I've been there before, too. It wasn't half bad. Of course, my physical condition hadn't deteriorated like it is now, but there's ways around that, too. It's just the "getting from here to there" that is going to hurt. I'm no stranger to pain, either, both emotional and physical. We've established that I'm a tough old broad. I am for many reasons. This is just more of the same. Being tough is good.
Your thoughts and prayers are very much appreciated. No doubt I'm going to need them in the days to come, so keep 'em coming.
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Psalm 119:105 Thy word is a lamp unto my feet, and a light unto my path.