((((melissa)))), i don't think you are pathtic, a whiner, etc. we are all caring human beings that have things we need to "put out there". please don't ever feel that you shouldn't. it takes courage to post our innermost feelings. that's how i "see" you..brave and courageous, willing to take a risk so you can find the support you deserve. we care here at pc.  you keep posting. 
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Do not let your fire go out, spark by irreplaceable spark, in the hopeless swamps of the approximate, the not-quite, the not-yet, the not-at-all. Do not let the hero in your soul perish, in lonely frustration for the life you deserved, but have never been able to reach. Check your road and the nature of your battle.
The world you desired can be won. It exists, it is real, it is possible, it is yours..~Ayn Rand
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