I'm not proud of myself by any means...but due to my high anxiety levels and paranoia problems I tend to not tell the truth to avoid having to do things or go places. This is becoming a bad habit of mine lately.

Today, I called a friend and left a voice mail and said I couldn't attend church with her on the weekend due to a bad cold. I am only in the beginning stages of a cold. I am just so nervous about attending church and being around ppl I don't know. Plus it is in the evening and thats when I need to take my medication...which makes me feel sleepy but more balanced in the brain so to speak.

I told this friend on the voice mail msg that maybe next weekend I would be up to attending church with her.

I just dont like going out in the evening and especially to places I have never been before and around ppl I don't know.

How do I overcome this horrible habit of not telling the truth and making stuff up to avoid not going somewhere...etc?

My anxiety and paranoia levels control my life. I can only deal with life when I am fully medicated.

I am very disappointed with myself and my behaviour. I like to think of myself as an honest person.